Overcome Your Survivor’s Guilt With These 6 Super Helpful Tips

Have you ever felt guilty for still being alive? Maybe it’s because you lost a loved one to cancer, or because you were in a car accident that should have killed you. Whatever the reason, feeling guilty for surviving when others have died can be a heavy burden to carry.

Let’s face it: feeling guilty for still being alive is something that a lot of us go through. Whether it’s because we’ve lost someone close to us, or we’re just not sure why we’re still here when there are so many people who have it worse than us, guilt is a feeling that’s all too familiar.

If you’re struggling with survivor’s guilt, know that you’re not alone. In this article, we’ll explore the concept of survivor’s guilt and offer some tips on how to deal with it. Whether you’re struggling with guilt after a natural disaster or feeling like you don’t deserve to be alive after losing someone close to you, we hope this article will help you find some peace.

Feeling Guilty For Still Being Alive 

It’s not uncommon for people who have gone through a traumatic experience to feel guilty for still being alive. Feeling guilty for still being alive occurs especially when they’ve lost someone close to them. The feeling is often described as survivor’s guilt, and it can be a very tough thing to deal with.

After all, if they had died, they wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath of the trauma.

They might feel like they didn’t deserve to survive when others didn’t. In some cases, people might even wish they had died instead of living with the pain and memories of what happened. feeling guilty for still being alive can be a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

What Is Maladaptive Guilt?

Maladaptive guilt is feeling guilty for something that isn’t your fault or feeling guilty for still being alive when others have died. It’s a form of survivor’s guilt. Many people who have experienced trauma feel maladaptive guilt. It can be debilitating and make it hard to move on from what happened. 

Maladaptive guilt is different from feeling guilty for, say, cheating on a test.

That’s adaptive guilt because it’s a feeling that serves a purpose. It motivates you to not cheat again in the future. Maladaptive guilt doesn’t serve any purpose. It’s just a weight that you carry around with you. 

If you’re struggling with maladaptive guilt, it might help to talk to a therapist. They can help you work through the emotions you’re feeling and figure out why you’re feeling them. Once you understand where the guilt is coming from, it might be easier to let it go.

8 Solid Reasons For Feeling Guilty For Still Being Alive 

Feeling guilty for still being alive is a feeling we sometimes have. It’s natural to feel this way when we’ve been through tough times, or when we see others struggling. Here are 10 common reasons why people feel guilty for still being alive: 

1. Guilt Over Not Living Up To Expectations

Many of us feel guilty for still being alive. We often expect a lot from ourselves, and when we don’t meet those expectations, we feel guilty. For example, we may feel like we should be further along in our careers, or we may feel like we should be doing more with our lives.

This can lead to a feeling of guilt that we are not living up to our potential.

Additionally, we may also feel guilty for not being able to do more to help others. We may see all the suffering in the world and feel like we should be doing more to make a difference. This can leave us feeling guilty that we are not doing enough.

Whatever the reason, feeling guilty because you’re not doing what you “should” be doing with your life is a totally valid feeling.  Ultimately, feeling guilty for still being alive is something that many of us struggle with. You can’t help but compare your life to others and feel like you’re falling short.

But it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different. We may feel like we are falling short in some way, but it is important to remember that everyone’s journey is different.

Just because someone else is further along than you doesn’t mean that your life is any less valuable or worthwhile. We all have our own unique paths to follow, and as long as we are doing our best, that is all that matters.

2. Guilt Over Enjoying Life

Feeling guilty because you are enjoying life when others are not able to be a common experience. There are a few reasons why this feeling might come up. First, when we see people suffering, it’s natural to feel empathy and want to help.

Second, we may compare our own lives to others and feel that we don’t deserve to be happy when they are not. And finally, we may simply be grieving the loss of someone we loved and feeling that life is not as fair as it should be. If you’re struggling with feeling guilty for still being alive, know that you’re not alone. Many people have felt the same way at some point in their lives.

3. Guilt Over Taking Up Space

There are a lot of reasons why people might feel guilty for still being alive. One of them is feeling like you’re taking up space that could be used by someone else. For one, we live in a society that values productivity and success.

We’re constantly being told that we need to achieve more, do more, and be more.

And if we’re not meeting those standards, then we start to feel like we’re not worth our place in the world. Maybe you think that there are people out there who are more deserving of life than you are. Or maybe you feel like you’re not doing anything meaningful with your life and that someone else could make better use of your time and space. 

4. Feeling Like A Burden 

It’s not uncommon for people who are struggling with mental illness to feel like a burden to others. And when you’re feeling that way, it can be tough to see any value in yourself or your life.

That’s why feeling like a burden is one of the main risk factors for suicide.

People who feel like they’re a burden often feel guilty for still being alive. They think that other people would be better off without them and that their death would actually be a helpful thing. But the truth is, no one is ever helped by suicide. It only causes pain and grief for the people left behind. 

5. Guilt Over Causing Pain To Others

It’s easy to see how causing pain and suffering to others can result in feeling guilty for still being alive. After all, if you’ve caused someone else to suffer, it stands to reason that you might feel guilty about your own continued existence.

But what you may not realize is that this guilt can actually be a good thing.

Its normal to feel guilt when you cause others pain

Feeling guilty about causing pain and suffering can motivate you to change your ways and make sure that you don’t cause any more harm. In fact, it can even lead to feeling grateful for your own life, knowing that you’re doing everything you can to avoid causing suffering in the world.

So next time you’re feeling guilty about something you’ve done, remember that it just might be the Universe’s way of reminding you to be a better person.

6. Feeling Like A Disgrace To Family

Feeling like you’re a disgrace to your family or friends can result in feeling guilty for still being alive. When you feel like you’re a burden to the people you care about, it’s natural to want to remove yourself from the equation.

After all, if you’re not around, they won’t have to deal with your problems anymore.

And if you’re no longer alive, you can’t embarrass them or make them worry. But feeling like you need to die in order to spare your loved ones any more pain is a sign that you’re in a very dark place. If you’re feeling this way, it’s important to reach out for help.

There are people who care about you and want to see you get better, no matter how much of a challenge it might be. Remember that you are not alone in this.

7. Self-Hate

People who hate themselves feel guilty for still being alive. After all, if you believe that you’re worthless and deserving of nothing but misery, it can be hard to justify continuing on with life. Why bother going through the motions when you’re just going to end up feeling bad again?

There are a few reasons why feeling guilty for still being alive is a common experience for people who hate themselves. First, hate and guilt are both powerful emotions that can be difficult to shake off. Once they take hold, it’s tough to see things clearly.

Second, self-hatred often leads to a feeling of being undeserving of happiness or relief from pain. So even if you don’t want to die, the part of you that hates itself may believe that you don’t deserve to live either.

8. Survivors’ Guilt

You may have heard of something called “survivors’ guilt.” This is when someone feels guilty because they survived while others didn’t. It’s a feeling that can be really tough to deal with.

There are all sorts of situations where survivors’ guilt can come up.

Maybe you were in a car accident and your friends died, but you survived. Or maybe there was a natural disaster and you lost everything, but you’re still alive. Whatever the situation, feeling guilty for being alive can be a really tough thing to cope with.

There’s no easy way to deal with survivors’ guilt. But it’s important to remember that you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t choose to survive while others didn’t.

Survivor’s Guilt: Feeling Guilty For Still Being Alive And Locus Of Control 

The locus of control is the extent to which people believe they can control what happens to them. Those with an internal locus of control believe that they can direct their own lives and are responsible for their own outcomes. On the other hand, those with an external locus of control believe that their lives are controlled by outside forces and that they are not responsible for their own outcomes.

 Feeling guilty for still being alive is more common among people with an external locus of control.

This is because they tend to see themselves as powerless and at the mercy of outside forces. As a result, they may feel guilty for being alive when others have died, feeling that they somehow don’t deserve it.

This feeling can be compounded by survivor’s guilt, which is the feeling of guilt that comes from surviving something that others didn’t. For example, someone who survives a natural disaster may feel guilty for being alive when so many others perished. Ultimately, feeling guilty for still being alive is a way of coping with a sense of powerlessness and feeling out of control.

6 Ways To Overcome The Feeling Of Guilt For Still Being Alive 

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings 

Acknowledging your feelings is a key part of overcoming; feeling guilty for still being alive. When you allow yourself to feel the guilt, it can help you work through the feeling and come to terms with it. Once you have acknowledged the feeling, you can start to work on letting it go.

This may involve talking to someone about what you’re feeling, journaling, or doing something nice for yourself. Whatever you do, make sure that you are taking care of yourself and giving yourself the time and space to heal.

Let yourself grieve

Guilt is a heavy emotion, but you are strong enough to carry it. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way and in your own time, and you will eventually be able to let go of the feeling and move on with your life.

2. Understand Why You Are Feeling Guilty

Guilt is a feeling that can be hard to shake. If you’re feeling guilty for still being alive, it’s important to understand why you’re feeling that way. Once you understand the root cause of your guilt, you can start to work on overcoming it.

Here are some common reasons you may feel guilty for still being alive:

  • You survived a traumatic event that others didn’t: If you’ve survived a traumatic event, it’s natural to feel guilty. You may feel like you don’t deserve to be alive when others didn’t make it. survivors’ guilt is a real phenomenon that can be difficult to overcome.
  • You feel like you could have done more: If someone close to you has passed away, it’s common to second-guess yourself. You may feel like you could have done more to help them or prevent their death. This type of guilt can be overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that you can’t change the past.
  • You’re struggling with mental illness: Mental illness can leave you feeling guilty for all sorts of things, including being alive. If you’re struggling with mental illness, it’s important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand and manage your guilt.

Each of these reasons is valid, and it’s okay to feel them. However, it’s important to remember that your loved one would want you to be happy and live your life to the fullest. Holding onto guilt will only prevent you from living your best life.

Try to think of ways to honor your loved one’s memory in a way that will also allow you to move forward with your life. For example, you could volunteer in their name, start a fund in their memory, or simply talk about them often so that their memory stays alive. Understanding why you are feeling guilty is the first step in overcoming those feelings.

3. Explore Your Options

If you’re feeling guilty for still being alive, it’s important to explore your options and consider whether there is anything you can do to address the reasons why you are feeling guilty. Here are some things to keep in mind that may help you overcome feeling guilty for still being alive: 

  • Remember that everyone deals with grief differently. You may need more time to process your emotions than others. 
  • Talk to a therapist or counselor if you’re having trouble working through your emotions. 
  • Identify any unhealthy coping mechanisms you may be using and work on replacing them with healthier ones. 
  • Talk to someone who has lost a loved one and ask them how they coped with their grief. 
  • Make a list of things you’re grateful for in your life. 
  • Focus on taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally. 
  • Do something nice for someone else who is going through a tough time. 
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends or family members. 

By exploring your options and considering whether there is anything you can do to address why you are feeling guilty, you may overcome feeling guilty for still being alive.

4. Practice Self-Forgiveness

Feeling guilty doesn’t help anything – it only makes us feel worse. That’s why it’s important to practice self-forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves doesn’t mean that what happened was okay. It just means that we’re willing to let go of the pain and move on with our lives.

Here are a few things you can do to start forgiving yourself: 

  • Acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to be sad, angry, and scared. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions – let them out. 
  • Talk to somebody who will understand. Sometimes it helps to talk to somebody who has been through something similar. They can offer support and understanding. 
  • Write about it. Writing about our thoughts and feelings can help us to process them and start to let them go. 
  • Be gentle with yourself. Be patient as you heal and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. 
  • Take care of yourself. Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising can all help to boost our mood and allow us to feel better about ourselves. 

Practicing self-forgiveness is a journey, but it’s a journey worth taking. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

5. Focus On Positivity

Survivor’s guilt is a real thing, and it can be tough to overcome. But there are things you can do to help yourself feel better. For one, try to focus on the positive. Dwelling on the fact that you’re still alive won’t do you any good.

Instead of feeling guilty for still being alive focus on positive

Instead, think about all the things you’re grateful for.

This can be anything from your family and friends to your favorite pair of shoes. Reminding yourself of the good things in your life can help you see that being alive is a good thing, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. There’s no need to feel guilty for being alive – it’s something to celebrate!

6. Seek Help If Needed

If you’re feeling guilty for still being alive, it may be time to seek professional help. Talking to a therapist or counselor can be a great way to work through your feelings and start to move on. Here are just a few ways that professional help can make a difference:

  • A therapist can provide an unbiased perspective. It can be easy to get stuck in our own heads, feeling like we deserve punishment for surviving. But a therapist can help you see things from a different perspective and start to understand that feeling guilty is natural but doesn’t have to control your life.
  • Therapy can help you work through your emotions. If you’re feeling guilty, chances are you’re also feeling a lot of other negative emotions, like sadness, anger, and frustration. A therapist can help you process those emotions in a healthy way and start to let go of the guilt.
  • You don’t have to go through this alone. One of the hardest things about feeling guilty is that it can make us feel isolated and alone. But seeking professional help can remind us that we’re not alone in this- there are people who care and want to help us through it.

Conclusion 

So, if you’re feeling guilty for still being alive, know that you’re not alone. Many people have experienced similar thoughts and emotions. And it’s okay to feel this way. What’s important is that you don’t let guilt consume you. Instead, use it as a reminder to appreciate the life you have and to make the most of every day. After all, we only have one life to live, so we might as well make it a good one. 

References

Luck, T., & Luck-Sikorski, C. (2022). The wide variety of reasons for feeling guilty in adults: findings from a large cross-sectional web-based survey. BMC Psychology, 10(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-022-00908-3

Murray, H., Pethania, Y., & Medin, E. (2021). Survivor guilt: a cognitive approach. The Cognitive Behaviour Therapist, 14. https://doi.org/10.1017/s1754470x21000246

Today, C. (2019, July 1). Relieving the heavy burden of survivor guilt. Counseling Today. https://ct.counseling.org/2019/06/relieving-the-heavy-burden-of-survivor-guilt/

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