People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often experience intense jealousy in their relationships. This jealousy can be accompanied by a range of other symptoms, such as mood swings, paranoia, and self-harm.

If you are struggling with BPD and jealousy issues, there are resources available to help you. This article will explore the symptoms of BPD related to jealousy, how to deal with BPD and jealousy in your relationships, and how to support a loved one who has BPD and struggles with jealousy issues.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that affects approximately 1.6% of the population. It is characterized by a pattern of impulsive and risky behavior, difficulty regulating emotions, and volatile relationships.

People with BPD often struggle with impulsivity, which can lead to risky behaviors such as substance abuse, self-harm, and even suicide. They may also have difficulty controlling their emotions, leading to sudden outbursts of anger or sadness.

Additionally, people with BPD often have unstable relationships due to their fear of abandonment and their intense emotions. 

Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP) And Jealousy

Bpd and jealousy can go hand in hand. Jealousy is defined as the fear of losing something or someone that you love. Jealousy can also lead to paranoid thoughts and Behavior, and people with BDP often have problems with paranoia.

People with BPD often experience intense and frequent episodes of jealousy.

These episodes can be triggered by even small events, such as a partner talking to someone else or receiving a text from an ex. During an episode, a person with BPD may become possessive, accuse their partner of cheating, or even engage in stalking behavior.

While jealousy is a normal emotion, BPD can cause it to spiral out of control, leading to problems in relationships and daily life. 

15 Symptoms Of BPD Related To Jealousy

A borderline personality disorder is a mental illness characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD may experience intense episodes of jealousy, which can cause significant problems in their lives. Here are 15 common symptoms of BPD and jealousy:

1. You feel extremely jealous and possessive of your partner.
2. You constantly worry that your partner is cheating on you.
3. You accuse your partner of being unfaithful even if there is no evidence to support this.
4. You have difficulty trusting your partner even after they have proven themselves trustworthy time and time again.
5. You become enraged when you think your partner is paying attention to someone else.
6. You make up false stories about your partner’s infidelity in order to justify your jealousy.
7. You frequently check your partner’s phone or email for signs of cheating.
8. You monitor their movements and track their every move.
9. You become extremely withdrawn and depressed when you’re not around your partner.
10. You start neglecting your own needs in order to spend more time with your partner.
11. You refuse to see anyone or spend time with anyone who might come between you and your partner.
12. You obsessively ruminate over the smallest things your partner does that could be interpreted as being unfaithful.
13. You start distancing yourself from friends and family members in order to devote more time to your relationship with your partner. 
14. You experience severe anxiety and panic attacks when you think about losing your partner.
15. You are willing to do anything to keep your partner from leaving you.

BPD And Jealousy In Friendship

Most people have experienced a little jealousy in their friendships at one point or another. Maybe your best friend got a new job and you felt a twinge of envy, or you saw a photo of her on vacation with her new partner and felt left out.

These are all normal reactions to feeling like someone else is getting something that you want. But for people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), jealousy can be much more intense and all-consuming.

People with BPD often struggle with feelings of insecurity and intense fear of abandonment.

So when they see their friends moving on without them, or getting attention from other people, it can trigger those deep-seated fears. The result is an explosion of jealousy that can damage the friendship beyond repair. 

• People with BPD can often feel insecure in their relationships, which can lead to jealousy. 
• Jealousy can manifest as a fear of losing the other person, or of them being unfaithful. 
• People with BPD may also feel that their friends are not paying enough attention to them, or that they are not spending enough time with them. 
• Jealousy can be a major source of conflict in friendships and can damage relationships if left unresolved.

BPD And Delusional Jealousy

What is delusional jealousy? Delusional jealousy, also known as Othello syndrome, is a mental disorder characterized by persistent and obsessive thoughts of jealousy. This often deals to the point where the person becomes convinced that their partner is cheating on them even when there is no evidence to support this claim.

People with delusional jealousy often experience extreme paranoia and may go to great lengths to spy on their partners or monitor their behavior. In severe cases, people with delusional jealousy may become violent toward their partners or even try to kill them.

Delusional jealousy is relatively rare, affecting about 0.2% of the population. It usually develops in middle-aged adults and is more common among men than women.

 Borderline personality disorder and delusional jealousy usually develop in early adulthood and are more common among women than men. A borderline personality disorder affects about 1.6% of the adult population while delusional jealousy affects only 0.2%.

Borderline personality disorder patients suffer from impulsivity while those with delusional jealousy are known to go through extreme paranoia. People with borderline personality disorder may experience periods of intense stress and paranoia.

BPD can also cause a person to have delusions of jealousy, which means they may believe their partner is cheating on them even when there is no evidence to support this belief.

BPD Jealousy Favorite Person

BPD jealousy is a form of jealousy that can occur in people with a borderline personality disorder. The favorite person is a term used to describe someone who is the focus of an individual’s BPD jealousy.

The favorite person may be a romantic partner, friend, or family member.

Individuals with BPD jealousy may try to control their favorite person in order to avoid feeling pain or abandonment. They may do this by attempting to control the behavior of their favorite person, or by trying to restrict their contact with other people.

Additionally, individuals with BPD may become paranoid and suspect their favorite person of cheating or betraying them. If you have a loved one with BPD, it is important to be aware of these dynamics so you can help them manage their jealousy and maintain healthy relationships.

BPD Jealous Rage

Jealous rage is a feeling of intense jealousy, insecurity, and territoriality. This can be caused by someone feeling threatened by another person or situation, often in regard to a romantic partner. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may experience jealous rage more frequently and intensely than those without the disorder. 

There are a few theories as to why people with BPD may experience more jealous rage.

One theory is that people with BPD have difficulty regulating their emotions. This means that they may have more extreme reactions to things than people without the disorder. Another theory is that people with BPD tend to be more insecure in relationships. This insecurity can lead to jealousy and fear of abandonment, which can trigger jealous rage. 

Quiet BPD And Jealousy

While most people think of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as a condition marked by dramatic and volatile emotions, there is another side to the disorder that is often overlooked. People with BPD can also be extremely sensitive and easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds, and strong emotions.

They may withdraw from social situations and prefer to spend time alone. This “quiet” side of BPD can be just as difficult to cope with as the more outwardly expressed emotions.

Those with quiet BPD may seem withdrawn or even content in some situations, while in others they may appear happy one minute and sullen the next. They may have difficulty participating in activities that they once enjoyed, or they may seem preoccupied and disengaged.

The root cause of these shifts is often feelings of intense insecurity, guilt, or shame. As a result, those with quiet BPD may be constantly on guard, anticipating criticism or rejection. They may also become jealous easily and have difficulty trusting others.

While the symptoms of quiet BPD can be difficult to identify, they can be just as debilitating as the more traditional symptoms of the disorder. If you think you or someone you know may be struggling with quiet BPD, it’s important to reach out for help.

Treatment can make a world of difference for those struggling with this condition.

20 Causes Of Jealousy In People With BPD

There is no definitive answer to this question, as the causes of jealousy are complex and vary from person to person. However, some of the most common factors that contribute to jealousy in people with BPD include: 

1. Feeling insecure and inferior to others can cause someone to feel jealous of others. When someone feels like they are not good enough, they may become jealous of others who they perceive as being better than them. This can cause them to feel insecure and anxious, which can lead to jealousy.
2. Fear of abandonment or loneliness can also cause someone to feel jealous. When someone is afraid of being alone, they may become paranoid and suspicious of their partner’s actions. This can lead to feelings of jealousy and insecurity.
3. Feeling that they are not good enough or deserving enough can also cause someone to feel jealous. When someone does not feel confident in themselves, they may doubt their relationship and become jealous of others who they perceive as being happier or more successful than them.
4. Misunderstandings or misinterpretations of events or situations can also lead to feelings of jealousy. When someone is not clear about what is happening in their relationship, they may start to question their partner’s loyalty or intentions. This can result in intense feelings of jealousy.
5. Jealousy as a way of controlling or manipulating others is a common reason why people feel jealous. When someone is feeling insecure or vulnerable, they may use jealousy as a way to get attention or make their partner conform to their wishes.
6. Envy of others’ successes or possessions can also lead to feelings of jealousy. When someone is unhappy with their own life, they may become resentful of others who seem to be doing better than them. This can cause intense feelings of envy and jealousy.
7. Feeling that their relationship is not as good as someone else’s relationship can cause someone to feel jealous. When two people are in a relationship, it is natural for each person to compare their relationship to others. If someone feels like theirs is not measuring up, they may become jealous of the other couple’s connection.
8. Anger and resentment towards people they perceive as being better off than them is another common reason why people feel jealous. When someone is feeling down about themselves, it is easy for them to start resenting other people who seem to have it all together. This often leads to feelings of envy and jealousy.
9. Low self-esteem is another common reason why people feel jealous. When someone does not have a high opinion of themselves, they will likely find it difficult to trust others and be content in their relationships. This often leads to feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
10. Resentment towards partners for perceived neglect or mistreatment can also lead to feelings of jealousy. When a person feels that they are not being given the attention they deserve, they may become resentful towards their partner. This often leads to accusations of cheating or emotional unavailability which can trigger feelings of jealousy.
11. Feeling that their partner is cheating on them can lead to feelings of jealousy. When someone feels that their partner is being unfaithful, they may feel like they are not being prioritized or loved enough. This can cause a great deal of insecurity and mistrust in the relationship.
12. Believing that their partner does not love them enough can also lead to feelings of jealousy. When someone does not feel as though they are valued by their partner, they may start to question their relationship and become jealous of other people who they believe are being given more attention.
13. Feeling that their partner is not paying enough attention to them can also be a trigger for feelings of jealousy. When someone feels as though they are not being given the attention they need, they may become resentful and start to compare themselves to others. This can cause them to feel as though they are not good enough which can result in intense feelings of jealousy.
14. Feeling that their partner is too involved with work or other activities can also be a cause for jealousy. When someone feels as though their partner is always busy and does not have time for them, they may start to feel unimportant and neglected. This can be a major source of tension in the relationship and lead to intense bouts of jealousy.
15. Believing that their partner is attracted to someone else can also lead to feelings of jealousy. When someone suspects that their partner is interested in someone else, it can cause them to feel insecure and doubt the longevity of the relationship. This can be a particularly painful experience and often leads to intense bouts of jealousy.
16. Feeling that their partner is not giving them enough attention can also be a source of jealousy. When someone feels as though they are not a priority in their partner’s life, it often leads to doubts about how much they are actually loved. This can be frustrating and often leads to strong feelings of envy towards others who seem to be receiving more attention than them.
17. Believing that their partner is too possessive or controlling can also be a catalyst for feelings of jealousy. When someone feels as though their partner is trying to control every aspect of their life, it can leave them feeling suffocated and trapped. This often leads to doubts about whether or not they are truly in a healthy relationship which often manifests as intense jealousy toward others.
18. Mistrusting others is another common cause of jealousy. When someone has been hurt in the past by people they have trusted, it often leaves them feeling skeptical and untrusting toward others. This often extends into relationships and causes people to become extremely jealous of anyone who seems to be getting too close to their partner.
19. A history of abuse or neglect can also lead to feelings of jealousy. When someone has experienced violence or emotional manipulation in previous relationships, it often leaves them feeling insecure and unsafe within new relationships. This often leads people down a path of intense suspicion and causes them to become very jealous of anyone who seems like a potential threat to the relationship.
20. Genetic predisposition towards developing BPD can also be a cause for jealousy. People who are predisposed to developing BPD often struggle with intense emotions such as envy and anger which often lead to bouts of jealous behavior

Dealing With Jealousy If You Have BPD

People with BPD often experience jealousy, which can be incredibly debilitating and destructive. If you’re dealing with jealousy and BPD, here are a few things that may help:

1. Talk to your therapist. If you’re feeling particularly jealous or insecure in your relationship, talking to your therapist can be a great way to get some guidance on how to deal with those feelings. They can help you figure out where they’re coming from and offer coping mechanisms specifically tailored to you.
2. Identify your triggers. Jealousy can often be stemming from a certain situation or event that triggers those feelings. Once you know what your triggers are, you can start working on ways to deal with them before they even happen.
3. Communicate with your partner. The best way to deal with jealousy is often through communication. If you talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and what’s triggering your jealousy, they can help you work through it together.
4. Spend time alone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by jealousy, sometimes taking some time for yourself can be really helpful in regaining control over those feelings. Spending some time alone can allow you to calm down and figure out what actions you want to take next.
5. Journal about your feelings. Journaling is a great way to express yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed or confused. Writing down your thoughts and feelings about jealousy can help you better understand them and work through them step-by-step.
6. Exercise or do something active. When we’re feeling tense or stressed, doing something active can be a great way to release those negative feelings and relax our minds and body. Exercise is a great way to do this, but any type of activity will do!
7. Seek support from friends or family members. As mentioned before, talking about how we’re feeling can be really helpful in combating jealousy head-on. If you have close friends or family members who are supportive, reach out to them for advice or just an understanding ear!  
8. Avoid comparison (websites/apps/social media posts etc). It’s so easy nowadays to compare our lives (and relationships) to others, especially when it comes via social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook etcetera. However, doing so will only breed more insecurity and jealousy so try and refrain as much as possible! 
9. Talk about why the insecurity is there in the first place. With someone that is close, try discussing the reason behind the emotion instead of avoiding it altogether which will only make the issue linger for longer periods of time.
10. Make healthy lifestyle choices. Managing jealousy can be stressful, so it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Eat healthy foods, get regular exercise, and make time for activities that make you happy

Deal With BPD And Jealousy In Your Relationships

 When BPD and jealousy combine, they can create a toxic mix that can wreak havoc on a relationship. Here are 10 realistic ways for dealing with BPD and jealousy in your relationships: 

1. Have realistic expectations about your partner and the relationship. If your partner has BPD, they may have difficulty regulating their emotions and may act impulsively. It is important to remember that they are not always going to be able to meet your expectations and you cannot fix them. The same goes for jealousy; it is normal to feel jealous at times, but do your best to manage your feelings in a healthy way.
2. Communicate openly with your partner. This includes expressing your thoughts and feelings, as well as listening to what they have to say. When communicating with someone who has BPD, it is important to be patient and understanding.
3. Take breaks: BPD can be incredibly draining, both emotionally and mentally. When things are getting too intense, take a break from each other. This doesn’t mean that you need to break up, but it does mean giving yourselves some space to calm down and reset. 
4. Don’t enable bad behavior. If your partner is engaging in unhealthy behaviors (e.g., drinking excessively, engaging in self-harm, etc.), try not to enable them. This means setting boundaries and refusing to tolerate unacceptable behavior.
5. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. When dealing with a challenging situation, it is important to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly.
6. Find healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety can often intensify feelings of jealousy and make them harder to manage. Try practicing relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation, or journaling about your thoughts and feelings.
7. Seek support from friends or family members. When things get tough, it can be helpful to have someone to talk to who will understand what you’re going through. Lean on your friends and family for support – they will likely be happy to help out in any way they can!
8. Identify any underlying issues that may be fueling the jealousy. Jealousy can often be a symptom of other problems such as insecurity or low self-esteem. If you can identify the root cause of the jealousy, you can work on addressing those issues head-on.
9. Be honest with each other. One of the most important things in any relationship is honesty. This is especially true when BPD is involved. If you’re feeling jealous or insecure, be honest with your partner about it. They may not be able to fix the feeling, but understanding where it’s coming from can help to diffuse the situation. 
10. Have patience. BPD is a difficult illness to deal with, both for those who have it and for their loved ones. It’s important to be patient with each other and understand that there will be good days and bad days. Having patience and understanding can go a long way toward making BPD manageable in a relationship

Deal With Jealousy If You Are Close To Someone with BPD

Jealousy is a normal emotion that everyone experiences at one point or another. However, if you are close to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may notice that their jealousy is more intense and difficult to manage.

There are a few things you can do to help deal with their jealousy in a healthy way:

• Talk to them about what makes you feel jealous and why. This can help them understand your perspective and give them insight into their own feelings.
• Try to avoid triggering situations. If there are certain things that make your partner more likely to feel jealous, try to avoid them if possible.
• Encourage healthy coping mechanisms. Help your partner find ways to deal with their jealousy in a constructive way, such as talking to a therapist or writing in a journal.
• Be understanding and patient. It can be hard to deal with a loved one’s jealousy, but try to remember that they didn’t choose to have BPD. With time and patience, you can help them manage their jealousy in a way that works for both of you.

Supporting A Loved One Who Has BPD And Struggles With Jealousy Issues

A loved one with BPD and jealousy issues can be a handful. Here are some tips on how to best support them: 

• Acknowledge their feelings and tell them that it’s okay to feel that way. 
• Help them to understand that their feelings are not a reflection of reality and that people do not actually think or feel the things they are imagining. 
• Encourage them to express their feelings in healthy ways, such as through writing or art. 
• Help them to develop a support network of close friends or family members whom they can rely on. 
• Encourage them to seek professional help if their BPD and jealousy are causing significant problems in their life. 
• Help your loved one to examine the source of their jealousy, and to explore possible ways to address it.
• Encourage your loved one to communicate openly and honestly with you about their feelings, and be supportive in whatever way possible.

By following these tips, you can help your loved one to cope with their BPD and jealousy in a healthy and productive way.

Takeaway

All in all, BPD and jealousy can be a tricky combination. If you’re someone who suffers from BPD, it’s important to be aware of the role that jealousy can play in your life. While it may be tempting to try to push away or ignore feelings of jealousy, doing so can often make them worse.

Instead, it’s important to face up to your feelings and work on managing them in a healthy way. If you’re not sure how to do this, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor who can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Remember, you’re not alone in dealing with BPD and jealousy, and there is help available if you need it.

References

Stockdale, L. A., Coyne, S. M., Nelson, D. A., & Erickson, D. H. (2015). Borderline personality disorder features, jealousy, and cyberbullying in adolescence. Personality and Individual Differences, 83, 148–153. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.04.003

Dixon-Gordon, K. L., Peters, J. R., Fertuck, E. A., & Yen, S. (2017b). Emotional processes in borderline personality disorder: An update for clinical practice. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 27(4), 425–438. https://doi.org/10.1037/int0000044