BPD Ghosting: How Relationships Get Killed By The Split In This Mental Affliction?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition marked by intense and unstable emotions, impulsive behavior, and tumultuous relationships. People with BPD often experience “ghosting” in their relationships. In this article, we are going to discuss BPD ghosting.

Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication with another person without any explanation. This can happen in both personal and professional relationships. While it can be painful to be on the receiving end of ghosting, it’s important to remember that the person who is ghosting is likely dealing with their own issues related to BPD.

If you are in a relationship with someone with BPD, try to be understanding and patient. Remember that BPD is a real mental illness that requires treatment. If you are being ghosted, don’t take it personally.

The person who is ghosting you is not necessarily reflecting on your worth as a person. Instead, they are likely struggling to cope with their own emotions and behaviors. If you are concerned that you may have BPD, please reach out to a mental health professional for help.

5 Strong Reasons Why Does BPD Ghost

Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) experience ghosting, or being abruptly cut off by someone they’re dating or friends with. Why does this happen? There are a few reasons. 

1. Difficulty With Relationships

One reason is that people with BPD often have difficulty with relationships. They may be afraid of abandonment, cling to people too much, or have intense mood swings that make it hard to maintain close relationships. When they feel like a relationship is getting too close, they may ghost as a way to create distance. 

2. Impulsive Nature

Another reason is that people with BPD may be impulsive and act without thinking about the consequences. This can lead them to say or do things that hurt the people they care about, which in turn may cause those people to ghost them. 

3. Self-Harm

Finally, some people with BPD deliberately ghost as a form of self-harm. They may do this because they feel unworthy of love or attention, or because they want to punish themselves for perceived flaws. 

4. Scared of Getting Hurt

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are often scared of getting close to other people because they’re afraid of being rejected or abandoned. This fear can make it hard for them to maintain relationships, both romantic and platonic.

5. Result of Narcissism

Narcissism is characterized by an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. It is a personality disorder that can lead to a number of problems, both for the narcissist and for those who are in relationships with them.

Narcissists often have difficulty sustaining long-term relationships, as they are prone to ghosting. This is when the narcissist suddenly cuts off all contact with the other person, without any explanation.

A Disoriented Man Feeling self-harm

5 Powerful Psychological Impacts of Ghosting

Ghosting, or the act of abruptly ending all communication with someone without any explanation, can have a significant impact on the mental health of both parties involved. For the person who has been ghosted, it can lead to feelings of rejection, abandonment, and worthlessness. Here are a few psychological impacts of ghosting:

1. Grief and Loss

The psychological impacts of ghosting can be severe. The loss of a relationship can trigger a feeling of abandonment and isolation. The sense of betrayal and rejection can be overwhelming.

2. Loss of Trust

When someone ghosts you, they are essentially telling you that your time, feelings, and energy were not worth anything to them. This can be a hard pill to swallow and can result in a loss of trust in future relationships.

3. Feeling Disrespected

Ghosting often feels like a slap in the face. Investing time and effort into getting to know someone, only to have them disappear without warning, can feel incredibly disrespectful.

4. Feeling Abandoned

When someone ghosts you, it can feel as though you have been abandoned. This can be especially true if the person ghosts after establishing a close connection with you.

5. Fear of Being Ghosted

Once you have been ghosted, it is common to start fearing being ghosted again in future relationships. This can cause people to become guarded and mistrusting, which can ultimately lead to the demise of relationships.

An isolated Abandoned Man

BPD Discard And Ghosting

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by impulsive and self-destructive behavior, erratic mood swings, and difficulty regulating emotions. People with BPD often engage in “discard” behaviors, in which they abruptly end relationships or withdraw from contact with others without any explanation.

This can be extremely painful for the people who are affected by it, and it can also be difficult to understand what causes someone to behave this way. There are several possible explanations for why someone with BPD might engage in discarded behavior.

One possibility is that they are afraid of intimacy and getting too close to others. Another possibility is that they tend to see relationships in black-and-white terms and can become quickly disillusioned when their expectations are not met.

Additionally, people with BPD may have a distorted sense of self-identity and may feel that they are not good enough for the other person.

Whatever the reason, discard behavior is often a symptom of the underlying distress and insecurity that characterizes BPD.

Idealization and Devaluation In BPD Ghosting

It’s not unusual for people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to idealize and then devalue the people in their lives. This can happen in relationships with friends, family members, and romantic partners. 

The process of idealization often happens quickly, as the person with BPD becomes fixated on the other person and sees them as perfect. They may put the other person on a pedestal and idealize them as being kind, caring, and understanding. But this idealized view is usually based on an unrealistic fantasy, rather than reality. 

The devaluation phase often comes after the person with BPD has started to feel disappointed or let down by the other person. They may begin to see themselves as flawed and imperfect and start to find fault in even small things. This can lead to arguments and conflict, as the person with BPD tries to push the other person away. 

The cycle of idealization and devaluation can be painful for both parties involved. If you are in a relationship with someone with BPD, it’s important to be aware of this pattern and try to avoid getting caught up in it.

It’s also important to be honest with each other about your feelings so that you can work together to resolve any issues.

How Do People With BPD Use Triangulation In Relationships?

People with BPD often use triangulation as a way to maintain relationships. Triangulation is when someone creates or uses an outside relationship to manipulate or disrupt another relationship. People with BPD may do this by ghosting, or withdrawing from a relationship without any explanation.

This leaves the other person feeling confused and hurt. They may also spread rumors about the person they are triangulating with, or try to turn their friends and family against them.

This can be very difficult for the other person to deal with, and often leads to them feeling isolated and alone. If you are in a relationship with someone with BPD, it is important to be aware of this behavior and to try to support your partner in getting the help they need.

BPD Blocking on Social Media

Social media has become an increasingly important part of our daily lives. It’s a great way to stay connected with friends and family, and it’s also a useful platform for sharing news and ideas.

However, social media can also be a dangerous place, particularly for people who suffer from mental illness. That’s why many people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) have decided to block certain individuals or groups on social media.

Blocking someone on social media means that you will no longer see their posts or be able to interact with them. For people with BPD, this can be an invaluable tool for managing their mental health.

Social media can be triggering for people with BPD, so by blocking certain individuals or groups, they can reduce the amount of triggering content that they’re exposed to. In addition, blocking helps to reduce the number of negative interactions that people with BPD have on social media.

BPD Ignoring Texts

It’s no secret that people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult to get along with. One of the most common and frustrating symptoms of BPD is the tendency to ignore texts. This can happen for a number of reasons. Sometimes, people with BPD simply forget to respond.

Other times, they may be deliberately trying to avoid conflict or make the other person feel bad. In any case, it’s important to remember that this behavior is not personal. People with BPD often have difficulty regulating their emotions, and this can lead to impulsive and destructive behaviors.

5 Forceful Examples of BPD Stonewalling

BPD stonewalling is a common tactic used by people with Borderline Personality Disorder to manipulate and control conversations. The goal is to make the other person feel powerless and frustrated, often to the point of giving up. Here are some common examples of BPD stonewalling:

1. Refusing to Communicate

This is perhaps the most obvious form of stonewalling. The person with BPD simply stops responding to all communication, whether it’s verbal or written. They may even go so far as to block the other person’s calls and texts.

2. Changing the Subject

This is a way of derailing the conversation so that it’s no longer about the original issue. The person with BPD may introduce a new topic, start talking about something else entirely, or simply refuse to answer the question.

3. Gaslighting

This is a tactic designed to make the other person question their own reality. The person with BPD may deny things that they said or did, Circus refusing to remember important events, or even lie outright. Gaslighting can be very effective at making the other person feel crazy and confused.

4. Making Demands

This is a way of putting the other person on the defensive. The person with BPD may make demands that are unreasonable or impossible to meet, such as asking for constant attention or insisting on complete honesty.

5. Playing Victim

This is a strategy of manipulating sympathy by playing the role of victim. The person with BPD may claim to be mistreated, misunderstood, or unfairly attacked. They may also try to elicit pity by sharing sob stories about their life or childhood trauma.

How to Move On After Being Ghosted?

Being ghosted by someone with Borderline Personality Disorder can be a confusing and distressing experience. After all, you thought you were in a relationship with this person, and suddenly they’re gone without any explanation.

It’s important to remember that ghosting is a manipulative behavior that is often used by people with BPD as a way to control and hurt others. Here are some tips on how to move on after being ghosted by someone with BPD: 

  • Take some time for yourself
  • Try not to take ghosting personally
  • Don’t Blame yourself
  • Allow yourself to Grieve
  • Focus on your wellness
  • Embrace Your Passions and Goals
  • Set boundaries with the person who ghosted you
  • Talk to somebody about what happened
A BPD Unable to manage emotions

How can the Person with BPD Controls Ghosting Through Various Therapies?

Ghosting, or the act of suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without any explanation, can be incredibly hurtful. However, therapy can provide an opportunity to learn how to deal with difficult emotions in a healthy way.

Through therapy, a person with BPD can learn how to communicate their needs and feelings in a way that is respectful and healthy. A person with BPD can control ghosting through therapy by:

1. Mentalizing-Based Therapy

What is mentalizing-based therapy? It helps the person with BPD to understand themselves and other people better. The therapist encourages the patient to share their thoughts and feelings openly. In return, the therapist offers guidance and support. This type of therapy has been found to be helpful in treating borderline personality disorder. 

One study found that mentalizing-based therapy was associated with a decrease in ghosting behaviors. The study participants who received this type of therapy were less likely to ghost their friends and family members. They were also more likely to have healthier relationships. 

If you or someone you know has BPD, consider seeking out mentalizing-based therapy. It may help to decrease ghosting behaviors and improve relationships.

2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT, is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy that was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder. The aim of DBT is to help people learn skills to manage their emotions and improve their relationships.

One key component of DBT is teaching people how to deal with “ghosting.” Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication with another person without any explanation. This can be extremely painful for the person who has been ghosted, as it can feel like rejection or abandonment.

DBT teaches skills that can help the person with BPD to control ghosting by learning how to better cope with emotions and communicate effectively.

Additionally, DBT can also help the person with BPD to develop healthier relationships in which they feel more secure and less likely to be ghosted.

3. Transference-Focused Psychotherapy

Transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) is a specific type of long-term psychotherapy that is designed to help patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD). The goals of TFP are to help patients learn to identify and manage their emotions, improve their relationships, and develop a greater sense of self-awareness.

One of the key elements of TFP is the focus on transference or the way in which patients transfer their emotions and experiences from past relationships onto their relationship with the therapist.  Through TFP, patients with BPD can learn to understand and control the impulses that often lead to ghosting.

In particular, TFP can help patients to become more aware of their

By learning the following skills, patients with BPD can ultimately become less likely to ghost in future relationships.

  • Learning to identify and manage emotions
  • Improving self-esteem
  • Developing healthy coping mechanisms
  • Learning to communicate effectively


If you’re struggling with BPD, you may find yourself “ghosting” your friends and family. It’s not that you don’t care about them, but the constant ups and downs of your emotions make it hard to keep up with relationships.

You may feel like you’re not worth their time, or that they’re better off without you. But the truth is, your loved ones want to be there for you – even if they don’t always understand what you’re going through.

If you’re feeling like you’re at the end of your rope, reach out to them. Let them know what’s going on, and let them help you get the support you need. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is BPD ghosting?

BPD ghosting is when someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) suddenly stops all forms of communication with a person or group without warning or explanation.

It may involve ceasing contact through any form of communication, including social media, phone calls, text messages, emails, and face-to-face interactions.

This can be particularly painful for a person who is close to someone with BPD. They may wonder what has happened and why the ghosting occurred without any explanation or resolution.

How do you respond to BPD silent treatment?

1. Remain calm, even if you feel hurt or angry.

2. Let the person know that you are there and available to talk when they are ready to do so.

3. Acknowledge their feelings without judgment or criticism.

4. Avoid taking it personally and understand that the silent treatment is a symptom of their condition.

5. Offer to talk about the issues in a safe space, like therapy or counseling.

6. Take the time to practice self-care and relaxation exercises throughout the process.

7. Respect their boundaries and be patient with them, understanding that it may take some time for them to open up again.

8. Lastly, if the silent treatment continues for too long, seek professional help. A mental health specialist can help identify the underlying causes of the behavior and provide tools to improve communication.

What is the psychological reason for ghosting?

Psychological reasons for ghosting may include a fear of confrontation, a lack of communication and problem-solving skills, difficulty expressing emotions, feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship, and/or not being ready to commit.

Ghosting can also be a sign of someone’s inability to emotionally attach to another person due to unresolved trauma, anxiety, or depression.

Additionally, ghosting may be a way of avoiding uncomfortable conversations and difficult emotions that come with confrontations.

Ghosting can be a sign of an inability to cope with stressors or manage emotions in healthy ways. Ultimately, the psychological reasons behind ghosting are likely complex and individualized.

Do people with BPD Stonewall?

Yes, people with BPD can stonewall. Stonewalling is a form of emotional disengagement used by some individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder to avoid difficult conversations or situations.

It involves shutting down communication and withdrawing from the conversation or situation altogether.

This may be done through avoidance tactics such as ignoring messages or requests, refusing to talk, or walking away from the conversation.

Stonewalling can be an effective way for someone with BPD to cope with stressors or difficult emotions, but it can also cause further distance in relationships and increase feelings of isolation.

Is ghosting a trauma response?

Yes, ghosting can be a trauma response. People who have experienced significant trauma may struggle to cope with intense emotions and difficult conversations.

As a result, they may resort to ghosting as a way of avoiding these situations and protecting themselves from further emotional pain.

Ghosting can also be seen as an expression of unresolved trauma that the person is unwilling or unable to process. Ultimately, ghosting can be a sign of unresolved trauma and should not be taken lightly.

When someone with BPD leaves you?

When someone with BPD leaves you, it can be hard to accept and understand. It is important to remember that the person’s behavior is often a symptom of their condition and not a personal attack on you.

It can be helpful to reach out and offer support without trying to control or fix their situation. If possible, try to remain open and available should they reach out to you. You can also take the time to practice self-care and talk with a mental health specialist if needed.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that there are often underlying issues at play and sometimes a person’s behavior will be beyond your control.

Why do people with BPD go silent?

People with BPD may go silent for a variety of reasons. It can be due to feeling overwhelmed, uncertain or anxious about their emotions and the situation.

They may also go silent as a way of avoiding difficult conversations or out of fear of being judged or misunderstood by others.

Furthermore, they may use silence as a coping mechanism when faced with intense emotions or stressors that they do not have the tools to handle.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that silence can often be a sign of distress and should not be taken lightly.

What emotions do Ghosters feel?

Ghosts may feel a variety of emotions, including guilt, shame, anxiety, and regret. They may also experience feelings of embarrassment or confusion regarding their own behavior.

Additionally, they may be afraid of being judged or rejected if they open up about their experiences.

Ultimately, the emotions experienced by ghosts will depend on the individual’s personal situation and how they process their emotions. Understanding and empathizing with these feelings can be a powerful step toward healing.

Do borderlines have remorse?

Yes, people with Borderline Personality Disorder can experience remorse for their actions. Remorse is an emotion characterized by feelings of guilt, regret, and sorrow over a wrong or harmful action.

People with BPD may feel remorse when they recognize that their behavior has caused harm or distress to others, even if the behavior was unintentional.

This realization can lead to feelings of guilt and regret, which may prompt them to apologize or make amends for their actions. Ultimately, expressing remorse is an important part of the healing process.

How many days without a response is ghosting?

Ghosting is typically defined as a form of abandonment in which one person cuts off all communication with or contact with another person without warning or explanation.

Ghosting can occur after just a few days of no response, but it generally takes at least two weeks for someone to be considered ‘ghosted’.

Ghosting can be damaging and hurtful, so it is important to communicate clearly if you are not interested in pursuing a relationship or continuing contact.

Is ghosting emotionally immature?

Yes, ghosting can often be a sign of emotional immaturity. Ghosting is a form of avoidance that prevents people from having difficult conversations and addressing uncomfortable topics.

People who engage in ghosting may be trying to avoid confrontation or dealing with the consequences of their actions.

Additionally, it can also be an indication that the person does not possess the tools necessary to effectively manage their emotions or handle difficult situations.

Is ghosting a lack of respect?

Yes, ghosting can often be a sign of disrespect. Ghosting is a form of abandonment in which one person cuts off all communication with or contact with another person without warning or explanation.

It shows a lack of consideration for the other person’s feelings and emotions, as well as an unwillingness to engage in meaningful dialogue or address any underlying issues.

Why do people ghost?

There can be a number of reasons why someone might choose to ghosting their partner. They may feel like they’re not getting what they need from the relationship and would rather end it than communicate that to their partner.

They may also be feeling overwhelmed or drained by the relationship and believe that cutting off all communication is the easiest way to end things.

What are the consequences of being ghosted?

Being ghosted can be incredibly hurtful and confusing. You may feel like you did something wrong to deserve being ignored in this way, or like you were never really important to the person who disappeared on you.

It’s important to remember that you are not alone in this experience and there are ways to cope with being ghosted.


Khushwant DhaliwalAyala Danzig, and Sarah K. Fineberg ( April 1, 2020). Improving Research Practice for Studying Borderline Personality Disorder: Lessons From the Clinic. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2470547020912504

Trull, Timothy J.; Stepp, Stephanie D.; Durrett, Christine A. ( January 2003). Research on borderline personality disorder: an update. https://journals.lww.com/co-psychiatry/Abstract/2003/01000/Research_on_borderline_personality_disorder__an.15.aspx

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